Log in

09 December 2007 @ 06:30 pm
well yeah I haven't really got much to say here. today was... dull? I resolved some of the shit with my housemates. when did life get so boring? I mean it's not that that bad, it includes all manner of tasty circumstances; but everything that you do you've done before and well.. it's just a little too much. Almost Christmas, and tomorrow I can kiss Baudelaire goodbye x
08 December 2007 @ 01:24 pm
Today I finished my Baudelaire essay (in French, total nightmare) and my Corneille, both of which are a relief. Things are going nicely with the bf; I really miss him and I do wish he'd call more but there's not a huge amount I can do about it and I don't want to be clingy because I know he has a lot on his plate at the moment. I'm glad I didn't see the post-grad boy again because he was quite interesting and I don't want to put myself in harms way. Only a few days till I get to go home (to the bf) for xmas, which'll be amazing and much needed. I worry sometimes that he doesn't care about seeing me but I think he's just settled into having me, and worried about other things. I know I'm very important to him and if I kicked up a fuss he'd show it but I won't be selfish like that because he has enough to worry about. Apparently I'm the most complicated woman he's ever met, which I really shouldn't take as a compliment but I kind of do. He's bloody confusing to me so it's not like it's a one sided thing; I think we're both just baffled lol. I've been with him for almost 2 yrs and I think I actually know him better than anyone. He definately knows me better than anyone else does. And yet, he still confuses the hell out of me; probably one of the reasons we've lasted so long. anyway back to the essays, horrible rain. hate english weather blah.
07 December 2007 @ 03:00 pm
A guy will go to the ends of the earth to get you. When he feels completely secure, he relaxes and stops making an effort. Men are way too concerned with the getting and not concerned enough with the keeping. The getting is the *easy* part.

There's always, always someone who would want the person you're with. That's why you treat them like sugar, so that every day they wake up and choose you all over again. It sounds scary and like hard work but it's more passionate and it means you always know they're with you cuz they want to be not because they don't want to be alone. The spark dies when someone in the relationship no longer feels that their efforts are valued. Not to be a massive man-hater but men in particular are guilty of playing women and taking them for granted then acting wounded when they leave. They don't even realise they're doing it until it's too late and as much as they want to be a victim they know they aren't really. If a woman plays a man he stays, desperate to win her over, but that's not how it works the other way around. It's important to retain self respect and that dwindles if you allow someone to treat you badly because you love them. But I don't know one girl who hasn't done it. I know a couple of guys who have too. Some women (and men lol) have a mad kamikazi desire for men who will hurt them, and some just don't. I always find the women I admire the most have the worst taste in men. I think it's because I look up to strong people and they need a strong partner to be their equal. Strong can be a bad thing. Not always though.

A girl will forgive a man she loves of almost anything but constant neglect. Often one terrible thing will be the last straw, if she's just holding on by her fingertips. But it's not the reason, it's the excuse, if that makes sense.

This can always be traced back to the Victorian issue of love versus jealousy. If you're completely secure in your faith in your partner you can't truly love them as the jealousy is missing and jealousy is supposedly the biggest part of passion in a relationship. This isn't according to me it's according to the French Victorian salons but I think they have a point. A boy will cross oceans to win someone but he won't even get off the couch if he's already got them. Louis the something only ever had one mistress for more than 5 years. He loved her more than his wife, more than anything. She never let him have her entirely to himself. He was always beside himself with jealousy so he never stopped desiring her.

I mean this whole thing is a little depressing; the moral is that a long-term monogamous relationship is bound to go awry unless you're either with a total saint or gay in which case you may be saved from the male find-and-fuck instinct, although some girls have it too so who knows eh? I know it's depressing but it's also just true. makes you not want to get out of bed in the morning because as much as you want to believe in love being this wonderful thing, it's based in the most destructive of other emotions.
03 December 2007 @ 03:40 pm
its so weird.. everyone used to be on livejournal and now it's kind of over. well some o them prbs still are but I doubt it. mybe facebook really is the future. maybe procrastination is just a hopeless task that leads to square eyes and a sore wrist. Maybe I should actually write my essay. Don't wana. boo
29 November 2007 @ 09:47 pm
I haven't had livejournal in ages I don't know how long I'll keep it for this time around.. anyway this is me :)